These posts are a celebration of life and the pursuit of a dream.....and big hair.
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[FOREWORD:In an effort to make use of talents beyond just wearing tights; I’ve decided to expand upon one of them in the form of introspective writing. This originally was a submission for Thought Catalog. They have a 2 week policy where if you get no response, it goes unpublished and don’t resubmit. Sadly, I caught two spelling errors in the original submission.
But I’ve decided that even my “failures” still can find life. So as I continue to write; the works that go unpublished will find their way here until there comes a day where that’s not the case. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy and find something inside yourself after reading this. Laters.]
Show It To Me
I don’t want to sound forward, but I’m not much for games. I’m just going to come out and say it. Ready?
Show it to me.
Why you gotta act like that? It’s just me and you. An A & B conversation with no C’s in sight; just a sight to see. Fair enough? Good.
Wait? You don’t know what “it” is? Maybe it’d be easier if I told you what “it” wasn’t?
It’s not your painted-on, limited edition Versace dress. Definitely not the tattoo you’ve been hiding from your dad since high school. Not the designer lipstick destined to be on a lucky man’s collar by night’s end. Your red bottom heels do nothing for me. Dig deeper.
What I want to see, you can’t get a 30 day return policy on. It’s one of the few things you don’t show off on Instagram. Your eyeliner may run, but what I want stays put.
Show me your scar.
Show me sin that marked your skin. A regret you’ll never forget. The moment of rough in your satin touch. A story telling itself in jagged detail. Your scars are the real underneath layers of brand-name smokescreen. It’s what I need to see if I want to know YOU. Hieroglyphics of a time painful lessons were taught that I hope you’d share.
Yet, you won’t.
Concealer fails to hide the shame written on your face. Tension in the air at the thought of eyes on marks you didn’t ask for. Intruder alert. Sound the alarm. Nobody asks to see scars unless they plan to make new ones. Love lockdown. Shut out. Do not pass go.
“That’ll teach him,” is what you say to yourself. That assurance fades as you’re met with an unfamiliar reaction. Understanding.
Yes, understanding. A lot of it. How could I get mad at you for staying guarded? TV, movies, magazines, and your newsfeed have taught you that no imperfection is above a filter. Photoshop makes the insecurity stop. Who wants to see you when the digital re-master is superior? Right?
Wrong. I can’t fall in love with your facsimile. Show me something real.
Show me your scar.
You spent hours on your French tips, highlights, and outfit. When you come around it’s a school zone; slow down. You’re perfect….
….until night’s end. Then the dress goes in the closet. Shoes carefully placed in their box. Makeup remover undoes the artistry on your face. Look in the mirror, what do you see?
The stab wound when you tried to leave.
The acne they can’t treat.
The C-section scar.
The razor-assisted cry for help across your wrists.
The black eye he gave you because “he loved you”.
The incision a steel plate and screws hide behind.
The stories you’re scared to tell. Your skin marked with a shame they’ll surely judge. Prince Charming doesn’t come for the princess with imperfections. That’s what we’ve learned after all. So you become the woman they want. Perfect skin and an alluring grin. She’s flawless….
No. She’s a lie. Everything I’ve been trying to avoid.
YOU are perfect. Your struggle and story are deep. The flaws make you beautifully human. Those scars are reminders that you’ve weathered a storm and survived. I’m in need of truth’s oasis in this arid desert of deception. Why hide that from me?
My fingers want to read every knick on your body like braille. Show me your sorrows and I’ll show you the courage to face them. The world is asking us to run from what we truly are, but you know what I want. A head-on collision with the romantic reality of you. All of you. From the core to the crust I refuse to cut off.
I can handle what you view as your worst. The question is: will you let me? With your permission, can I care for you with no filter? You never needed it.
You needed me. At this very moment, you’re questioning all of this. Vulnerable in a way you’ve never wanted to be again. Skin quaking like a 7.0 on the Richter with a 808 beat in your heart. Everything is telling you to run, but cement in your legs keeps you at bay. Be easy darling, that’s realization setting in.
Yes. I want you. My perfect defect that wants to believe she’s worthy.
You are. You’ve known it and you just needed the reminder. The spark that ignites a flame, barely burning. Don’t be afraid of the future. Volumes of untold stories are etched on your skin. Let’s start from the beginning and pray we never find the end.
Is that alright?
Show me your scar.
All of you.
Wanted to take a word to speak on Hiroto Fukunaga.
ISW’s Mike Rotch brought him to my attention after this very talented artist was shafted on payment for various art designs.
That’s a shame. After seeing what he could do, I went to him and paid his very reasonable price for two designs. I’m blown away to no end. The level of quality, professionalism, and speed he took in his work was staggering. Rare you get all those together.
I’m hoping if you’re looking for an awesome standard in art, you check him out. Worth every penny and I feel terrible for those missing out on work of this quality. Thanks, Hiroto! I’ll be back!
PS….Expect posters and shirts on the way ;)
Ladies, I’m hittin’ you 911 on the pager. #HitMeBack #PickItUpSoICanPutItDown
The Legend of Tracy Smothers as told by Sugar Dunkerton….
CONFESSIONAL: So I got asked at the last RPRO show and the Beyond Secret Show why I wear these rings; which came after Jocephus Brody and Dave Cole, (dis)respectively, broke the necklaces that held them.
We all stand for something, even if you stand for nothing. Sometimes we need reminders.
The left ring is from an ex who won’t be named. She knows who she is and she knows we’re on good terms (I think :p), but it’s a constant reminder to not make a promise you can’t keep. I’ve made that apology to you, making it again in public because I’m at peace with the lesson.
The second belonged to my dear Brittany Berry. #DIFB. Can’t believe how long it’s been since she’s been gone. It’s a reminder of how positive and lively of a person she was, but it comes with a regret. The day before she killed herself; she called me. I just remember being so tired/busy/caught up I didn’t call back….next day, dead. I was crushed. If anything or anyone MATTERS to you: make time or at least try. Do-overs are rare. Also Tiffany Amber Turner, congrats on your newest. We don’t catch up much, but the prayers are there. Thanks for taking the time to make sure I got her ring. Love to you and the new family.
So lessons and regrets hang around my neck. But they push me to be a better person in my actions and thoughts. So as long as they make necklaces, I expect them to be around for awhile. Thanks for letting me share. :)
Dick Move, Cole! I shouldn’t have to cut promos like this. Now it’s gonna cost ya….
Alright guys, ProWrestlingTees.com has finally dropped it. The “She Wants The D” Sugar D shirt, designed by the awesome Anthony Lopez (@ThatGuyLopez), is finally available at 19.99!
Now here’s my challenge to you guys….PWTees has a rule where you gotta reach a certain amount of shirt sales before you can drop more than 4 designs. That SEX+CANDY shirt up there is WAITING and ready to go; I need your help to get it there.
So let’s sell 25 shirts by say….end of the month? I’ve even got 3 other designs at my store (http://www.prowrestlingtees.com/sugardunkerton) that will count towards that 25. If we can do that; no waiting on different designs and I can finally drop SEX+CANDY to the masses. It’ll also make my designs easier to print for those of you trying to grab em at shows if they’re already posted :)
Not incentive enough? The 25th purchase gets a special prize from yours truly! This includes if you do a multi-order.
So please; let’s knock this one out so I can silence the question, “When are you gonna have shirts?”
I got em and I wanna share em! But I need YOU. As always, gracias.
Just once, why can’t someone OVERESTIMATE me? Just so I can know the feeling. Like that seriously annoys me. My dreams, purpose, abilities, and goals aren’t pipe dreams for eyes to be rolled at.
I’m a dreamer, but I’m ALSO a realizer of those same dreams. Passion and purpose make what I want as real as ANYTHING in this world. I don’t need coddling or downplay. I need you to recognize that my power is turning thought into reality. That scare you? Step aside.
Because when “I might” turns into “I can” that turns into “I will”; that’s the guy you can’t stop. His dream is now bigger than himself. That kind of drive scares the weak and the stupid: two cliques I never wanted to hang with anyway. #GoForIt #PassionAndPurpose